I Heart Products

A friend of mine sent this to me.

He said, "I instantly thought of you."




He clearly doesn't understand that I need each and every one of those bottles.

No one understands.

All I Want is a Freaking Tan

I am interrupting my Switzerland adventures for this important announcement:

My legs look like glow sticks.

I am of Irish descent, and that means that I have been pasty white my entire life. You might be thinking, "wow, Sara, have you tried sunless tanning or tanning beds?"

Please, people, I have tried everything on the market to get that sun-kissed glow.

When I tried Coppertone's new sunless tanning spray last week, the orange results prompted my friend to tell me about the new revelation called "airbrushing." For $30, I get to stand with my post-baby body in front of a 19-year-old with perky boobs and a machine that kind of looks like the bug sprayer my lawn guy uses. I didn't care as long as I looked golden for approximately 10 days.



And...it worked. It was glorious. I have been wearing every short dress and pair of shorts I own before the clock strikes midnight and the glow sticks return.

I fear that day arrived today. I look like a polka-dotted mess. My "tan" is literally flaking off, and not very evenly, I might add. I don't care. For one, blessed week, I joined the ranks of the Coppertone models.

Ahem.

Without the, um, skinny and flawless body.

Hiney Issues

Why do I think it is my personal failure when my son has diaper rash?

I know, I talk about diapers and poo a lot. Forgive me, that's what consumes much of my time now that I am a domestic goddess. All manner of poo problems require my undivided attention and research.

So, imagine my dismay when his Sunday School teacher told me his little tush was bleeding the rash was so bad.

I didn't overreact or anything...





Nope, not me.

Friday, I'm in Love with........Olive Oil and Saran Wrap

It's not sexy around here when I really start to try and beautify myself. Nope, all kinds of processes are required that I would rather my husband not see.

This is one of them.

Olive oil is pure moisture. I like to warm up a tablespoon, work it through the ends of my hair, and then wrap my head in saran wrap. Then, I watch a good chick flick while I'm feeling all pretty...

After it's washed out, the result is shiny and repaired hair. I say "repaired" because I am quite surprised that my hair has not rebelled and started falling out after all I do to it.

Friday, I'm in Love with...Silk Infusion

If you want to avoid the "winter fro" brought on by dry weather and even drier hair, I enthusiastically recommend "Chi Silk Infusion." It makes your hair soft, silky, and fro-free. It's a wee-bit expensive, but I've had the same little bottle for two years. It also protects your hair from curling irons, straighteners, blow-dryers and other such hair torture devices. Smells yummy, too!

Friday, I'm in Love with........The Personal Trimmer

Seeing as how I am such a beauty product enthusiast, I want to share my love with you, my faithful readers. Every Friday, I'm going to spotlight a particular product and give my review via the "Friday, I'm in Love" posting. (Does anyone else think that's the greatest song ever?)

In an effort to be sensitive to my 3 male readers, I will give an advance warning if my review is of a "feminine product" nature. Wouldn't want you to have a panic attack when it dawns on you what those boxes in the bathroom cabinet actually contain.

This Friday I'm in love with.....the personal trimmer. This baby bypasses the pain of hot wax and plucking to take care of all manner of facial hair. Women can use it all over their face, and men can groom their eyebrows, ear hair and nose hair. The blade cuts extremely close, leaving a silky and hair-free finish.

Do not use this trimmer anywhere except your face. You will burn the motor out. That will be embarrassing.

Otherwise, enjoy the smoothness the personal trimmer brings to your lovely face.

Domestic Goddess Beauty Product Nominations

It's award season and I'm handing out awards for the one thing in life I know best. (not cooking, not homemaking, not mothering for sure...)

Beauty Products

I am a self-admitted product whore. My cabinets, shelves and linen closet are overflowing with creams, sprays, potions and other such miracle workers. Tell me a lotion will change my life and I'm the first one to Ulta that day. I have taken over the entire shower as well. My husband has one tiny shelf in which to put his shampoo and soap.

Without further ado, here are my 2009 nominations:

Mary Kay Night Emollient Cream
This stuff is pure moisture. I've used it on my baby's cheeks all winter and they're soft and smooth. It's great for lips and under your eyes, too.

Bigelow Rose Salve
Nice, mild scent and keeps your lips kissable all winter. Except when you have coffee breath.

Ulta Minerals Finishing Powder
Has the power of concealer, base and finishing powder all in one. It goes on fast and covers all manner of facial drama. (Including when one stays up all night to finish the latest book in the "Twilight" saga.)

Avon Eye Color Cream
Goes on smooth and the vanilla color makes your eyes bright and sparkly all day.

Burt's Bee Apricot Baby Oil
Not for the baby, for your legs. Put on post-shower and top it off with lotion. You'll be so silky and soft! It smells amazing, too.

Neutrogena Healthy Defense Daily Moisturizer
Has an SPF of 30 for all of you porcelain princesses like me. My dermatologist said that all post-30 ladies should wear at least a 30 SPF to prevent sunspots on the face. (Sunspots cost $900 to erase with laser light pulses.)

Anything by Arbonne
No, I don't sell it. I've just never used a bad product from this company. I especially love the eye cream, night cream and self-tanner.

This will be in my Heaven: