Saturday, May 24, 2008

Thoughts on Turning 30

As I was dropping my husband off at the airport, he mentioned that my current attitude about turning 30 depresses him. I must confess that it depresses me, too. I just have this sinking feeling that life will never be as fun after this birthday. Yes, I realize this is irrational. Yes, my dear friend is currently kicking cancer's ass and has something real to complain about. Yes, I hear "30 is the new 20."

I look at everything differently now. Maybe this dread stems from all of my favorite things being replaced by a new attitude about them. For instance:

Traveling Through Europe
20's Sara All I need is Aimee, Amy, my filtered water bottle and my Visa.
30's Sara Will my baby be alright? Can I leave him for more than a week? Will this cause permanent damage? I should use this money to save for a new house.

Traveling anywhere
20's Sara I'll stop for gas and Starbucks and be there in a few hours.
30's Sara Do I have enough milk? Where is the emergency pacifier? We need to stop for a diaper change! Call them and tell them we're 2 hours behind schedule. Ugh- it's not worth it, let's just stay home.

20's Sara Oooh! That's cute- should I buy it now or wait until Amy buys it and then borrow it?
30's Sara Is this on sale? Never mind, I'll just get spit-up on it. I don't really have anywhere to wear it to. How much money is in our account after buying diapers and an economy-sized box of wipes?

Going Dancing
20's Sara Who's bringing the pre-dancing wine? I'm going to wear Amy's new black dress!
30's Sara Wine makes me sleepy- I need an espresso. I need to pump or I'll leak all over Amy's dress and then she'll take away my closet privileges. I hope we come home early, the baby wakes up at 4. Just how strong are these control-top hose??

Ahhh....seasons. I was reminded of how seasons change as I was driving home and trying to decide if buying a Starbucks was too frivolous of a purchase. That thought would have never crossed my mind a few months ago. I have to laugh at it, and at myself. So, I must now reluctantly embrace the 30's Sara, because I think it's going to happen regardless of how I claw at my 20's.