Here's a few of my "Cale Lessons:"
-You never know if something is tasty unless you cram it in your mouth and clench your jaws so mommy can't fish it out.
-Any occasion is a good time to poo. Loudly and with gusto is the preferred method.
-Smearing spit and drool on a mirror is best when it's freshly Windexed. It's more artistic that way.
-It's holier to sing and shout to God when everyone else in church is quiet and reverent.
-If the outfit isn't comfy and play-worthy, it might as well stay in the closet. Even if Mommy spent a large sum at Baby Gap.
-Empty tupperware and a wooden spoon are better toys than anything Fisher Price could put out.
-Why have teeth if you can't practice biting Mom until she won't nurse anymore?
-Mommy will hurry faster if alligator tears are involved.
Yep, folks, I didnt learn this stuff in college.