Friday, January 30, 2009

Friday, I'm in Love with........The Personal Trimmer

Seeing as how I am such a beauty product enthusiast, I want to share my love with you, my faithful readers. Every Friday, I'm going to spotlight a particular product and give my review via the "Friday, I'm in Love" posting. (Does anyone else think that's the greatest song ever?)

In an effort to be sensitive to my 3 male readers, I will give an advance warning if my review is of a "feminine product" nature. Wouldn't want you to have a panic attack when it dawns on you what those boxes in the bathroom cabinet actually contain.

This Friday I'm in love with.....the personal trimmer. This baby bypasses the pain of hot wax and plucking to take care of all manner of facial hair. Women can use it all over their face, and men can groom their eyebrows, ear hair and nose hair. The blade cuts extremely close, leaving a silky and hair-free finish.

Do not use this trimmer anywhere except your face. You will burn the motor out. That will be embarrassing.

Otherwise, enjoy the smoothness the personal trimmer brings to your lovely face.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

My Vampire Romance

Catchy title, don't ya think?

I decided to boycott parenting books and try a love story. It filled my little wifely head with all kinds of nonsense like the perfect guy, who says the perfect thing, who's body is sculpted perfection, and with which the sex is always red-hot and uninterrupted by screaming kids.

2 weeks ago I would have rolled my eyes at such silliness. Then, my sister introduced me to Edward Cullen and the "Twilight" saga. I now stay up till 2 in the morning salivating over his romance with Bella and their tragic love story.

My husband thinks it's funny when I snap at him that "no, I can't cook right now, yes, I did remember to feed our son and PLEASE would you go find something to do so I can read, ect..."

So, I ask you, what woman could resist these words:

"I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heart-breakingly beautiful you are tonight?"

He kissed me tenderly, adoringly; I forgot the crowd, the place, the time, the reason....only remembering that he loved me, that he wanted me, that I was his.

I opened my eyes and found his open, too, staring at my face. It made no sense when he looked at me that way. Like I was the prize rather than the outrageously lucky winner.

See, impossible! This is why every woman in America right now is in love with Edward Cullen.

Yes, it's not a reality and it's similar to guys comparing us to hot supermodels and expecting us to measure up. Women resent that, and I totally get the hypocrisy.

But, really, who wouldn't love just a little vampire kiss??

And my Search for the Perfect Body Continues

This day was inevitable:

15 extra post-baby pounds ------------------check
Horrible pregnancy over---------------------check
Rib back in place after horrible pregnancy----check
Calories stabilized after breast-feeding-------check
Detox diet completed------------------------check
5 personal trainer sessions-------------------check
No motivation to work-out at home---------- double check

Our unmotivated family joined a gym today. (I am including my 1-year-old in this category as he refuses to walk as he likes to be toted around.) I love the feeling I get when I join a gym. Such high aspirations. Such wonder at the high-energy classes and European-style equipment. I feel myself getting firmer just looking at the weight machines. I think of my tan self frolicking at the beach this summer with no jiggly bits. (The tan will be sprayed on, but it's not half bad.)

I know all to well the reality that our 1-year contract demands. Up at 5:30 to work out before my husband goes to work. Sweating to Britney Spears tunes and cursing because I don't have her abs yet. Wanting to snuggle in bed instead of putting on my workout clothes and driving to the gym.

After watching 2 seasons of "The Biggest Loser," it's time to do that one, little thing that the show asks: make your health a priority. I'm in my 30's, (ick, yuck, gag), now. This must be more important than the petty excuses.

And, seriously, freakin' Faith Hill looks like this at 40:

She's had 3 kids, come on Sara!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I'm Just Going to Lay It Out There

Our newly elected president makes me nervous.

I was not on the "Obama is going to solve our problems/bring peace on earth/boy, isn't he a hottie" bandwagon. Indeed, I was seriously bummed for a few days after the election. His voting record was alarming to me and certain ideals that I hold sacred. His sudden rise to power in a city reeking with the politically corrupt made me suspicious from the start. I also try to make it a point never to side with celebrities, (honestly, I think Oprah's losing her marbles!)

But, what's done is done and I plopped on my couch yesterday to watch the Inauguration Celebration. Apart from the media salivation and the crowd's shameful treatment of George Bush, I found spite of myself, feeling hopeful and inspired.

I listened to Rick Warren's prayer and cried. President Obama made his speech, and I cried some more. I felt my heart wanting to believe that our country was making a change for the better. I whooped when he gave a shout-out to mommies raising their children. I felt pride when he spoke of those things that are "old and true." Most of all, I felt a sense of responsibility when he reminded us of those who came before us and the sacrifice they made for us. For this day. For this future. And, as he admonished, it's time to "put away childish things."

I was humbled.

I'm still nervous, but I'm hopeful and standing behind President Barack Obama.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Domestic Goddess Beauty Product Nominations

It's award season and I'm handing out awards for the one thing in life I know best. (not cooking, not homemaking, not mothering for sure...)

Beauty Products

I am a self-admitted product whore. My cabinets, shelves and linen closet are overflowing with creams, sprays, potions and other such miracle workers. Tell me a lotion will change my life and I'm the first one to Ulta that day. I have taken over the entire shower as well. My husband has one tiny shelf in which to put his shampoo and soap.

Without further ado, here are my 2009 nominations:

Mary Kay Night Emollient Cream
This stuff is pure moisture. I've used it on my baby's cheeks all winter and they're soft and smooth. It's great for lips and under your eyes, too.

Bigelow Rose Salve
Nice, mild scent and keeps your lips kissable all winter. Except when you have coffee breath.

Ulta Minerals Finishing Powder
Has the power of concealer, base and finishing powder all in one. It goes on fast and covers all manner of facial drama. (Including when one stays up all night to finish the latest book in the "Twilight" saga.)

Avon Eye Color Cream

Goes on smooth and the vanilla color makes your eyes bright and sparkly all day.

Burt's Bee Apricot Baby Oil

Not for the baby, for your legs. Put on post-shower and top it off with lotion. You'll be so silky and soft! It smells amazing, too.

Neutrogena Healthy Defense Daily Moisturizer

Has an SPF of 30 for all of you porcelain princesses like me. My dermatologist said that all post-30 ladies should wear at least a 30 SPF to prevent sunspots on the face. (Sunspots cost $900 to erase with laser light pulses.)

Anything by Arbonne

No, I don't sell it. I've just never used a bad product from this company. I especially love the eye cream, night cream and self-tanner.

This will be in my Heaven:

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Playing Dirty

Every holiday season for the past 10 years, my Mother and I have had a dessert contest. Why the 2 worst cooks in the family decided to do this, I still have no idea. (Our culinary skills were about even since I couldn't manage to remove the cardboard before baking a frozen pizza and Mom usually announced dinner was ready by the fire alarm going off when she forgot about the bread in the oven). However, year after year, our family nervously takes a bite of our sugary concoction and places their vote.

I say "nervously" for good reason. You see, between the two of us, something inevitably goes wrong with our dessert, so the winner is usually the one with the least-offending entry. For instance, there was the year I took a stab at a Peppermint Chocolate Cake. (It would have been great if I had crushed the peppermint pieces a bit finer so that family members did not break their teeth.) That year, Mom entered a French Silk Pie that she decided to "tweak" with extra rich chocolate. No one could actually cut the pie because it was so hard, that my peppermint monstrosity won that year. Let's see...there was the time my pumpkin roll didn't exactly roll, and I mashed it in a bowl and called it "Pumpkin Surprise." Another bad year was when Mom added dried up cherries to a box cake. *shivers* And so on, and so on...

This year, we invited my little sister in on the fun, and the good times started rolling. Amy made a Tres Leches Cake, I made Red Velvet Cake Balls and Mom made Crockpot Chocolate Pudding.

Since Mom's dessert was smelling fabulous, Amy and I had to try to discourage people from wanting to try hers:

(Too bad I spelled "turd" wrong. That's embarrassing for a teacher with an English degree.) Who would want to eat turd pudding? Mom didn't seem impressed with my efforts and retorted that no one would want my "balls," either. (Yes, my mother said that.)

Not to be outdone, Mom also tried to liquor up the judges:

In the end, though, the Crockpot Chocolate Pudding won by one vote. I will be speaking to my disloyal in-laws about this.

Who knows what we'll concoct for next year. And, if our concoction doesn't fare well, we've got 10 years of sabotaging practice. And no shame.

When He Gets Quiet...

Uncle Shane did warn me that when a little boy gets suddenly quiet, to start running. Apparently, they have thrown all of their energy into mischief, and need to concentrate. So, the other morning, my sweet little baby got real quiet...

Yes, he was eating them, too.