Shame and McDonald's

I've kind of fallen off the wagon.

Almost a year ago, I swore off any meat that was cheap and easy.  I changed our grocery budget to accommodate healthy, organic meat and dairy.  I ate fish when we went out, and I only ate vegetarian when I had to eat fast food.

You would think that I would be even more dilligent now that I am pregnant.  (Yeah, me, too!!)

That is not the case.

I just ate 2 meals at McDonald's.  I could not function until I had a cheeseburger, nuggets and fries.  I am gross.  I wouldn't let Cale have any...but yet I subjected my growing baby to this grease-fest.  And then I had a Twix bar and a Nestle Crunch Bar.

I am hungry all the time.  Like.... I. Can't.  Get.  Enough.  Food.  In.  My.  Belly.

I didn't have this problem with my first pregnancy.  I don't know what to do.  Don't tell me to stop, or I will cry and tell you not to judge me.  I will tell you that I'll go on Weight Watchers in October.  I will tell you that I deserve this since I puked my guts out the first 4 months.

But don't take away my nuggets.  I couldn't take it.

Motivation

I did a photo shoot a few days ago and I was not happy with the status of my arm jiggle. The photographer sweetly told me, "If you put your hand on your hip, it will pop your tricep out and it will look better."

My hand is on my hip in every picture.

I decided it was time to get myself back into a regular workout routine. My workout routine always seems to falter during wedding season. In addition to that, my husband's schedule hasn't been sane since he entered a political career. So, I'm back to doing yoga once a week and calling it good.

That was, until I saw my arm jiggle.

I marched into my room, got $50 out of my unmentionables drawer and gave it to my husband. "If I don't work out 4 days a week for a month, go spend this."

It worked. I want my $50 back and I don't want him to spend it on something annoying like an Aggies jersey. I got a week reprive due to sickness, but I'm hitting it hard again tomorrow. Me and my personal trainer, of course:

The Pregnancy Thigh Master

I took this picture last summer to inspire me to tone my legs. Meet my friend, Kristen, and her perfect legs:



Kristen and her legs just launched a DVD series for pregnant women. It's called PregoFit, and it's fabulous.

If I had this DVD series when I was preggers, then perhaps I would have been much less mushy at the end of my 9-month-plight. I might have felt better and had all of my ribs stay in place. Perhaps I would have hidden less Twinkies in my underwear drawer.

One never knows.

I do know that Kristen is the real deal. Certified trainer, healthy, fabulous and walks the walk. I could not be more thrilled to recommend this series!

As soon as I have the nerve to get knocked up again, I will have my credit card ready.


I might be jealous if she wasn't so darn sweet!

Quality Control

I've been wearing a lot of stretchy pants lately. Wedding season is over, and I apparently did too much quality-control cake sampling:













It's an important part of my job. I take it seriously. I wouldn't want anyone to have a bad buttercream experience.

My waistline has requested I return to the gym.

Traitor.

Post Break-up

Since I ended my affair with fast food meat and unorganic meat all-together, I've had all the usual symptoms of a hard break-up:

-Painful withdrawals
-Learning a "new normal"
-Random bouts of sobbing....usually when I pass a Sonic.

For example, one of my clients brought in a bag of Taco Bell during a consult, and, I automatically thought, "I'm going to go get some tacos after this appointment." As I was absentmindedly driving towards the drive-in window, I remembered the slaughter houses, beef fillers and animal mistreatment. I went straight home and warmed up some soup instead.

And it felt freaking great.

With the help of some very supportive friends, I've discovered these local resources to help with my new eating/cooking plan:

The Living Kitchen

Natural Farms

The Downing Family Farm

I have also put in an order for half a cow. Never thought I'd say that...but one of our church members is a rancher with organic meat, and you have to buy in bulk. My deep freezer will be put to good use come October....

I have to chuckle at myself...Sara has half a cow in her freezer.

Also, I have a small favor. If you have any resources to help with this endeavor, would you please leave it in the comment section or e-mail me at saramccord@yahoo.com?

Thank you!

Food, Inc. and Those Poor Chickens

At the insistence of Oprah, Dr. Oz and Emerging Mummy , I watched the documentary"Food, Inc."

I am now mad at Oprah, Dr. Oz and Emerging Mummy because I have lost all appetite for:

1. Big, fat juicy burgers
2. Pepperoni pizza
3. My $5.99 economy bag of chicken breasts

"Food, Inc." answers the most basic question: Where does our food come from? I truly thought I knew. Turns out, I had no idea.

*Manda Mae, stop reading now*

The documentary goes behind closed doors at the chicken farms, slaughter houses and feed lots. What they do to animals is brutal; I was deeply disturbed:

-Chickens genetically altered so badly by hormones that they can't even walk because their breasts are so large.
-Animals that have never experienced fresh air, green grass or sunlight .
-Animals screaming at the torture they endure.
-Animals covered in manure which, Surprise! Surprise!, gets mixed up all together in our "ground meat." That meat then gets treated with a bleach solution to clean it right up. REALLY?

They said in the film that if there were glass doors on these places, everyone would be a vegetarian.

I'm considering it.

The film also goes into great detail about the abuse of farmers, government failures to act, alarming U.S. health statistics and our addiction to cheap food. I found their information to be thorough, accurate and sobering. The film ended with the admonition that we, as consumers, get 3 votes per day to decide change: breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm changing the vote in our house from this day forward.

I have proclaimed a food revolution in our kitchen:

-We are not eating fast food beef or pork now that I've seen exactly what "meat fillers" are.
-We will buy organic meat and dairy.
-We will start shopping at farmer's markets.
-I will write nasty letters to the USDA.

I have officially broken up with processed foods...something I thought could never, never, never happen.

For the Love of Cheese

The Weight Watchers regime was going great. I lost 8 pounds after diligent point counting and excessive exercise. I went down 2 sizes, felt great and once again enjoyed trying on jeans.

Then I got the stomach flu, and it threw me off a little.

Okay, a lot.

As in, I've spent the last 2 weeks eating ridiculous amounts of calories.

Because this:



Just isn't as tasty and satisfying as this:



Alas, I gotta get my arse to the gym. And lay off the cheese pizza, cheese fries and cheese nachos or my skinny jeans just might break-up with me.

The Chronicles of Spin Class/Humiliation

I've heard confessing your sins can be cleansing. Of course, I took it too far when I announced to my spin instructor that I ate too many valentine donuts the day before. She immediately put me on a bike in the front and simply said, "you shouldn't have told me that."

I started pedaling. For the first 10 minutes, I felt a little queasy as the lard rolled around in my stomach. I eased up my gear a little...and she saw me.

"GIVE ME MORE, SARA!"

The class laughed. I pedaled harder and put on more gear. I took a deep breath; she mistook it as a yawn...

"SARA, ARE YOU BORED???"

"No ma'am!" I panted.

"I SMELL DONUTS!"

This went on for the duration of class. To add insult to injury, a camera crew showed up during class to film a commercial. They zoomed in on me- no makeup- no hair products-in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle t-shirt-getting reamed out for my Valentine sins. Not awesome. This is one of the few times in life I don't want to be a star.


All because of this little temptation....

and my big mouth...

Dr. Sara

When I had corporate health insurance; I went to the doctor over a sniffle. I loved getting prescription medicine for $5, I loved being able to have all kinds of tests run and I frequently looked through my health plan to see if there was a specialist I might need to see.

As always; I am aware that I have issues. Moving right along...

I haven't had good health insurance for awhile now, so it's made me more diligent about proper health and nutrition. I'm constantly researching alternative treatments and vitamins to off-set the winter onslaught of mucus and infections. These are, through personal experience, what I've found to be the most effective:



Zinc: In swabs and drops. As soon as I feel a cold coming on, I swab up my nose and suck on those drops throughout the day.

Vitamin D & C: I try to take triple the daily amount recommended. I also buy the "Emergen-C" packs and drink them. I put a little in my toddler's juice when he's getting a cold, as well. He thinks it's "nummy!"

Throat Coat: This herbal tea is a miracle for sore throats. But it immediately!

Jim Beam: Cause I think hot toddies are fun. They seem to help me sleep better, too...

Now, I want to talk to you about my secret weapon: pot.

The Neti Pot. Gah, people!

The tea kettle thing in the picture is the reason I have not had a serious cold all fall or winter. As someone who usually does 3 rounds of antibiotics every cold season, this little contraption has saved my immune system. It's just warm saline water, and you pour it in one nostril and the gunk comes out the other. The genius of it is that you are keeping all 4 pairs of sinuses sterile, preventing infection from ever occurring.

It works. Seriously. I don't want to hear about your cold until you've tried the pot.

Operation: Fit Into My Jeans....Update

Weight Watchers actually works. No one is more shocked than me. I've lost a total of 5 pounds and only fantasize about Oreos when I'm really stressed out.

I thought my wine country vacation would throw things off, but I ate in moderation, enjoyed the wine and food and got right back on my point plan when I returned. I didn't lose weight that week, but I also didn't gain. I consider that a success! This week, I was back on my eating and exercise plan, and lost 2 more pounds. Amazing.

After all of my ridiculous attempts with pills, detoxes and strict-caloric reduction...I found something that encourages a lifestyle change and I don't want to eat the walls. Dude; I get CRANKY when I'm hungry, this is a much better plan for me and the people that have to live with me.



*Vacation splurge. So worth it. I dream of these burgers at night...

Operation: Fit Into My Jeans....WEEK 1

So, I saw some pictures of myself at Christmas.

I was not happy.

I tried to dress up for a night out and my cute stuff didn't fit.

I was not happy.

I lamented to my girlfriends that "I'M FAT!" And, as any good girlfriend should, they all looked at me like I was crazy and told me I was beautiful. (If your girlfriends don't do this for you, find new girlfriends immediately!) But that did not, in fact, help me fit into my favorite jeans that make my butt look good.

Therefore, I made a plan. I was going to go on a crazy detox liquid diet until I was happy with my figure. After one phone call to my sister, ("you're not going to go on one of your stupid diets, are you?"), I came up with a better plan at her suggestion.

Weight Watchers.

I cried when I signed up; humiliated that my stress-eating had gotten this out of control. I cried when I had to weigh and measure myself. Apparently, I lost all of my baby weight and have been steadily packing it back on. I cried when I saw how many points my beloved cheese fries are. It just wasn't pretty, my friends. I only cried one more time, and that was when my sister texted to tell me that she just joined to help me out. She always backs my play like that.

But, the next day, I stopped crying and started sweating. I began tracking what I ate. I went to the gym every morning and actually, you know, sweat. It felt great. It feels great not to be in a fast food stupor all day. It feels great to be sore from the work-outs. It feels great to be kind to my body; not make incessant demands on it to keep up the ridiculous pace in which I live my life. I'm actually loving it, much to my shock. And, yee-haw, after one week, I've already 3 pounds.


More to follow....

PS
This blog post by K.C. Clifford was a HUGE source of inspiration to me: http://blog.kcclifford.com/2009/12/where-turned-leaves-go

Ready for the U.S. Open

I started playing tennis with my girlfriends on Monday evenings. I've never played tennis in my life, but I was tempted by the cardio workout and the beer afterward. Also tempting was that we were all beginners, so my ego was safe. (That's important to the girl picked last in gym.)

I had a great idea to let the tennis enthusiasts, also known as my husband and mother-in-law, give me some lessons so that I don't look like an idiot during my next game. This is how they play:


BAM! POW! Take that, MOM!


BOOM! SWAT! I gave birth to 10-pound babies, BRING IT!


And then, there's me:



Um, can I stand at half-court? When is the water break?

I'm haven't quite earned my tennis skirt yet:

The Nutrition Nazi

I will feed my child only fresh foods.

I will not inspire my child with my bad eating habits.

He will eat healthy food or go without.

I will read nutrition books until I'm cross-eyed.

If I don't give him junk, he won't ever want it.......









Crap.

I Got Schooled by Grandma

My quest for better health and firmer buns is going quite well. I get up at 5:30 and get myself to the gym a whopping 3-4 days a week.

I've been at it about a month now and I decided to try a spinning class. Eek! Spinning is 20 people pedaling for an hour and it apparently burns 400-700 calories. Count me in, I just ate an entire cow at Texas Roadhouse last night. With fries and ranch dressing.

The instructor got me set up on my bike and I made sure that she knew it was my first time, (that way, if I fell off or crapped out 20 minutes into it, there would be no judgment.) I was right next to a tiny, elderly lady. Okay, great, no pressure. She even encouraged me:

"Hello, dear. I just do my best, too. I usually can't finish an entire class, but I'm here! You just do what you can!"

I felt myself relax as I was enveloped in her sweetness.

Then the music started and something happened.

She, in all her 60-year-old glory, took off like the devil was chasing her. She pumped her legs in her short shorts, (that's when I noticed how oddly toned they were), she yelled at the instructor, she moved to the beat and she left me in her dust. I would also like to mention that she did, indeed, finish the entire class.

There was nothing sweet about her, after all. And my new fitness goal is to keep up with Grandma. And...to look as good in short shorts.

And my Search for the Perfect Body Continues

This day was inevitable:

15 extra post-baby pounds ------------------check
Horrible pregnancy over---------------------check
Rib back in place after horrible pregnancy----check
Calories stabilized after breast-feeding-------check
Detox diet completed------------------------check
5 personal trainer sessions-------------------check
No motivation to work-out at home---------- double check

Our unmotivated family joined a gym today. (I am including my 1-year-old in this category as he refuses to walk as he likes to be toted around.) I love the feeling I get when I join a gym. Such high aspirations. Such wonder at the high-energy classes and European-style equipment. I feel myself getting firmer just looking at the weight machines. I think of my tan self frolicking at the beach this summer with no jiggly bits. (The tan will be sprayed on, but it's not half bad.)

I know all to well the reality that our 1-year contract demands. Up at 5:30 to work out before my husband goes to work. Sweating to Britney Spears tunes and cursing because I don't have her abs yet. Wanting to snuggle in bed instead of putting on my workout clothes and driving to the gym.

After watching 2 seasons of "The Biggest Loser," it's time to do that one, little thing that the show asks: make your health a priority. I'm in my 30's, (ick, yuck, gag), now. This must be more important than the petty excuses.

And, seriously, freakin' Faith Hill looks like this at 40:



She's had 3 kids, come on Sara!

I Dreamt About Hamburger Helper Last Night

It's Day 3 of the "ruin Sara's world" detox diet.

I went to my second training session and am proud to report that I did not pass out, throw-up or yell at anyone. It was much less mortifying than my first visit.

I did, however, have to do 2 humiliating exercises called the "crab-walk" and the "fire hydrant." That's right, the "fire hydrant." Guess what that consisted of? Me hiking my leg like a dog for 45 reps. The "crab walk" involved sticking my arse in the air and walking like a crab twice around the studio. To add insult to injury, I kept falling down because I was trying to hurry to lessen the time my trainer was staring at my jiggly derriere.

I'm so glad he chose that moment to burst into singing the theme from "Spiderman."

I finished the day off eating a big plate of green beans and edamame. I wanted to grab my husband's plate of Hamburger Helper and make a run for it, but I figured I'd better be sweeter to him after the Jello incident.

8 more days to go!

I'm Friggin' HUNGRY!

My special detox diet started today. I woke up ready to take on the 10-day eating plan, but noticed an intense reaction ensued when my husband eyed my sugar-free Jello. It reminded me of when he eyed my food when I was pregnant.

Complete irrational food obsession.

I don't get to eat much at all, STAY AWAY FROM MY FOOD, PAL! He didn't help things when he logically stated that he could go buy me more Jello and orange juice. A hungry woman is not a rational woman. In my defense, I did tell him I would need extra grace this week. Poor guy.

So that's how my day started. Then, I had two 11-month-olds all day, and they chose today of all days to fight over every toy in the house. I noticed myself getting weaker and more tired as the day went on. This was Day 1:

Breakfast-Toast, 1/2 an orange
Snack- Cereal Bar
Lunch- Salad (I was tempted to get a taco salad from Taco Bueno since the diet wasn't specific..)
Snack-Sugar-free Jello
Dinner- Zucchini and edamame

It's now 7 p.m. and I'm getting ready to go to bed. I have another training session at 6 in the morning. I don't know if even the Backstreet Boys can help me now.

You're Looking a Little Pale...

So, I went and met my personal trainer on Saturday. I kept my head hung in shame as he measured every inch of me and put me on the scale. I kept waiting to hear, "I don't know if I can help you," but thankfully he was super-positive and told me that we all have a starting point. He immediately put me on a cleansing diet which will, after careful perusal, probably ensure that I will be cranky for the 10-day duration. It involves lots of fruit, salad and lean meat. And no donuts.

This morning at 6 a.m. sharp, I came face-to-face with the consequences of not working out for a year and a half. (I did power-walk and do yoga, but rarely broke a sweat...) Landry put me on the treadmill and I almost lied and said I had bad knees to get out of it, but thought better of it. After ten minutes of rocking out to the Backstreet Boys, (I don't want to hear it, Ty), I was huffing and puffing and wondering if it was over and I looked like a bikini model yet.

Far from it.

I did squats, crunches, leg presses, weight training and lunges, all the while cursing the cupcakes I stuffed in my mouth over the weekend. (Note to self: never tell your personal trainer about the cupcakes. He'll punish you.)

After 45 minutes of a 1-hour session, I started feeling dizzy. I mentioned that to Landry and it was like an alarm went off. "Lay down NOW and breathe!" He ran and got cold towels and put them on my neck and ears. (Apparently that cools you down the quickest.) I also was very pale and shaking.

How embarrassing.

My work-out was officially and prematurely over. I got to lay on a bench for the remainder of my time and stretch. He said my reaction was normal and that I would get stronger. I then limped out of the studio, determined to never be in such bad shape again.

Did I mention the 50-something woman that was working circles around me? Nah, I'll save that humiliation for another day.

My Saturday Torture Session

I can't avoid it anymore.

I won 4 sessions with a personal trainer at a charity event about a year ago. That's right, a whole year ago. I've tried to pawn them off to my husband in a great showing of self-sacrifice. However, they're about to expire and I have no other choice but to go in and hear the thing that makes a postpartum woman cringe:

Her body-fat check and BMI.

I know what's going to happen. He's not going to be impressed with my excuse that I had a baby a year ago. He won't be impressed that I went off sugar for the whole month of October. I also doubt that he will give me a high-five for doing yoga in the morning about once a week.

He's going to insist that I stop making excuses and start taking my health seriously.

In preparation, my husband is taking me out for cheese fries and buttercream cake tonight.

I, too, am ready to take my health seriously.

Operation: Cute Hiney

Okay, we're into our second week of no sugar, fast food, soda, or cheesy goodness. The first week was killer. I had a headache for 3 days straight and I was lusting after Ben and Jerry. (It's ice cream, people!)

I'm slowly getting used to snacking on fruit, almonds, low sodium pretzels and gum. Yes, gum is a genius way to curb your eating when you're not really hungry. When I feel like eating the walls because I want a french fry, I have a stick of gum and wait it out.

My plan was going pretty well until my husband sent me this to show me where we could go after our sugar hiatus ended:


Where's the damn gum?