Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Goodbye B/F/F

I took away his pacifier. His best friend. His beloved "nu-nu." It was a sad day, indeed. He cried, I screamed in a pillow, he wailed, I pulled out my hair...there was much drama.

It was time, though. He was two, had all of his teeth and was becoming a pacifier addict. I know there are many approaches, but we just went cold turkey and settled in for a few days of protest.

When he woke up from his first nap sans the "nu-nu," I thought it warranted a big reward:

It was touch and go for a minute- but I think he's gonna live, folks.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

How to Keep your Man

After being trapped in the house by sickness and weather, my buddy and I took our wild ones to Chick Fil A so they could burn off some energy. When a little sweetheart in a pink shirt started to play with my son, I joked to Emma that "someone was trying to take her boyfriend."

And that's when I learned a good lesson from a 2-year-old.

She ran over to the flagrant flirters, raised her arms in the air and screamed:


And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you handle the competition.

If Jennifer Aniston had seen this blog, things might have turned out differently.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Chronicles of Spin Class/Humiliation

I've heard confessing your sins can be cleansing. Of course, I took it too far when I announced to my spin instructor that I ate too many valentine donuts the day before. She immediately put me on a bike in the front and simply said, "you shouldn't have told me that."

I started pedaling. For the first 10 minutes, I felt a little queasy as the lard rolled around in my stomach. I eased up my gear a little...and she saw me.


The class laughed. I pedaled harder and put on more gear. I took a deep breath; she mistook it as a yawn...


"No ma'am!" I panted.


This went on for the duration of class. To add insult to injury, a camera crew showed up during class to film a commercial. They zoomed in on me- no makeup- no hair products-in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle t-shirt-getting reamed out for my Valentine sins. Not awesome. This is one of the few times in life I don't want to be a star.

All because of this little temptation....

and my big mouth...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Dr. Sara

When I had corporate health insurance; I went to the doctor over a sniffle. I loved getting prescription medicine for $5, I loved being able to have all kinds of tests run and I frequently looked through my health plan to see if there was a specialist I might need to see.

As always; I am aware that I have issues. Moving right along...

I haven't had good health insurance for awhile now, so it's made me more diligent about proper health and nutrition. I'm constantly researching alternative treatments and vitamins to off-set the winter onslaught of mucus and infections. These are, through personal experience, what I've found to be the most effective:

Zinc: In swabs and drops. As soon as I feel a cold coming on, I swab up my nose and suck on those drops throughout the day.

Vitamin D & C: I try to take triple the daily amount recommended. I also buy the "Emergen-C" packs and drink them. I put a little in my toddler's juice when he's getting a cold, as well. He thinks it's "nummy!"

Throat Coat: This herbal tea is a miracle for sore throats. But it immediately!

Jim Beam: Cause I think hot toddies are fun. They seem to help me sleep better, too...

Now, I want to talk to you about my secret weapon: pot.

The Neti Pot. Gah, people!

The tea kettle thing in the picture is the reason I have not had a serious cold all fall or winter. As someone who usually does 3 rounds of antibiotics every cold season, this little contraption has saved my immune system. It's just warm saline water, and you pour it in one nostril and the gunk comes out the other. The genius of it is that you are keeping all 4 pairs of sinuses sterile, preventing infection from ever occurring.

It works. Seriously. I don't want to hear about your cold until you've tried the pot.

Friday, February 12, 2010

An Unlikely Break-Up

My son is officially acting two. I was not so delusional that I thought I could get through unscathed, but this is ridiculous. It takes him 2 hours to get to sleep at night. He gets up 2 or 3 times in the middle of the night, climbs in my bed and then sleeps on my face. To add insult to injury; his 2-nap-a-day has gone to 30 minutes. With about an hour of drama before that. He punches, he hits, he whines and he refuses to eat. A completely different toddler within 2 days.

When I get this frustrated in a relationship, I like to break-up with the person. I imagine my current relationship problem could be dealt with like this:

Dear Toddler, I need to write this out so that I can get it all out before you interrupt me. First of all, you're great; you're going to go far in life. I truly want only the best for you. I just think we're in a different place right now, you know? It's not you; it's me! I just can't handle a serious relationship right now. I love you a lot, but I think I just need my space for awhile.


But, I won't write this. Instead, I will get up in the middle of the night and comfort him. I will make endless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches if that's all he'll eat right now. I will pray. I will call my Mother and cry. I will ask for advice on facebook. And I will get over it. Cause I'm the mommy now. And a 2-year-old will not best me...I hope...

Cheetos are calories, right??

Thursday, February 11, 2010

A Day with my New Cookbook:Part II

Since my oven had not produced good results, I thought I would try with an iron skillet. How hard could it be? I looked online to see how to"season" my skillet. Next, I oiled it and put it in the oven for an hour. This happened:

Once it was seasoned, I assembled the ingredients and made the batter:

*Yes, there is a fire extinguisher close. Refer to picture #1.

I buttered and sugared the bottom, then poured the cake batter in:

So far, so good. I am following the directions perfectly, and there is a delicious pineapple aroma wafting through my kitchen.

I became concerned when I saw the black smoke coming from the sides:

I checked my recipe and corresponding pictures; and black smoke was not mentioned. Since the cake was still not done all the way through; I just laughed it off as some part of iron skillet cooking that I didn't know about.

I took the pan off the stove when this happened again:

After 2 hours of work and concentration, I present my pineapple upside down cake:

*Cuss word. Cuss word. Cuss word.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I love reading blogs as much as I love writing. Here are a few faves that really stood out to me this week:

My college buddy has 2 little girls, and she chronicled their "Daddy Dates." Made me cry. And want a girl.
Bessert of Life

Because I should really do this. I cannot use my pregnancy/breast-feeding excuse anymore.
Moms are for Everyone!

I adore her. She makes me want to move in next door...alas, Canada is too far from Granny. Anyway, she's taking on a whole foods challenge that is truly inspiring.
Emerging Mummy Part I Part II

This gal is pure spunk. And I will make my family do one of these.
Coal Creek Farm

This is where I get delusional and think I can go whip these up for V-Day.

Enjoy, friends!

Okie Blog Awards

Kudos to my hubby, The Contemplative Tulsan, for his recent nomination for Best Tulsa Blog! I now feel bad for making fun of his love of the 10th Amendment...the voters have spoken!! Clearly, now that he's famous, I need to show more respect.

If you are an Oklahoma blogger, you can vote here.

*Feeling contemplative...deep thoughts are about to happen, my friends.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

A Day with my New Cookbook:Part I

We were snowed in for 3 days. I eventually ran out of projects and had an idea:What if I got out my new Pioneer Woman Cooks cookbook and baked all day? True, it didn't go along with my healthy eating plan...but I personally believe that being cooped up with a toddler for 3 days deserved baked goods; it's only fair.

First, there was the blackberry cobbler:

It turned out okay; but my devil oven doesn't cook evenly. It tasted great with a side of vanilla ice cream, though!

Next, I tried orange muffins. Once again, quite tasty, but the devil oven made them stick to the well-greased muffin tin. I did my best to dislodge them, putting forth all my rage at my oven:

They turned out like this:

I mashed them up in a bowl and put a large scoop of ice cream on top to disguise my muffin-incompetence.

I should have stopped there, but I saw a recipe for an Iron Skillet Upside Down Cake. And that's when the real drama began....

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Hard Question

Recently, I was asked by The Contemplative Tulsan to be a guest blogger. Aside from my insensitive comments about mini-vans, the response seems to be positive. One question he asked, however, always trips me up:

What's your favorite thing about being a Mom?

Geeze; that should be easy to answer. I'm asked that question quite often, and I am still unable to put it into words. It all boils down to him. He's the best thing about being a mommy. All of those hundreds of ways he enriches my life and pushes my buttons. And steals my sleep. And my cookies. How could I sum this up:

-Waking up every morning to "Hi Mommy!" and getting a big kiss.
-Nap time when he wraps his little arms around my neck and puts his head on my chest.
-He closes his eyes when I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do.
-He puts himself in time-out when he feels he deserves it, then says "sorry" and offers a conciliatory hug.
-He celebrates when I make a dessert. "Oh Mommy! Nummy! Nummy!"
-He's excited to see me when I pick him up from Sunday School.
-He makes me feel like my kisses have magical healing powers.
-He finds joy in everything.
-Those dark, brown eyes and the way he wiggles his hands and says, "Hold you! Hold you!"
-He has the best toys his grandparents could find, and he is happiest in the mud with a stick.
-Every song is an occasion to dance.

So, to sum up; it's him. All 30 pounds of him.

Having a "nummy."