Sunday, December 27, 2009

December 27th.

See this girl? She has no idea what's about to happen...

Two years ago on December 27th, I woke up at 1 in the morning with a stomachache. (This was not unusual as I had taken to eating a lot of McDonald's, fried chicken and cheese fries the last month of my pregnancy.) I waddled out of bed and took some Tums. I tried to settle down to rest my weary body, but the pain was increasing. I tried walking it off, laying on the couch and stretching.

I woke my husband at 5, clutching my stomach and said, "I think I'm in labor."

Ever alert and ready for action, he said, "I need pants."

Well, then. Tums and pants. We are ready for parenthood!

We got the green light to get to the hospital. On the road there, I felt every bump on the road and was holding onto the seat, trying to get control of the pain. I was doing pretty well until he said, "I know it hurts. I understand."

Not a good thing to say to a woman in labor, but he was speeding like a mad man towards the hospital, (with the epidural), so that kept him from losing his head that morning.

At this point, I couldn't talk at all. I was doing my labor breathing, and trying not to knock out the lady in line ahead of us. She did not appear to be in the kind of pain I was in, so I felt that I should get to go first. However, everything hurt like hell so I leaned against the wall and prayed my water would break on her. (If you have not felt labor pain, you may not judge.)

I finally was taken to a room and given the all-access gown. I didn't care. Seriously, I am the girl that never wears a dress without a slip and I didn't care that this unsightly gown was 4 sizes too large and had access panels all over it. As long as one of those panels leads to the epidural, I was willing to wear it.

I gripped the bed rail, and tried to breathe like they taught me in class. Slow, deep breath, stay relaxed, stay calm....PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! OH, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY THE PAIN!!!

It went on like that for a few hours until the beautiful epidural came. After the scary needle and nausea, all was bliss.

And it was very good.

I settled in for a little sleep,and was awakened by the urgent beeping of alarms. Two nurses came in, checked his heart beat, put an oxygen mask on me and started working furiously. It seemed his heartbeat was not cooperating, so they put me in a different position on my side, and he calmed down. They were closely monitoring his heartbeat, and I was much too nervous to sleep.

Then, it seems, the beautiful epidural stopped working. I went from no pain to the very-end-of-my-labor-excruciating-pain. I started sobbing. My body wasn't prepared to handle it, and I fell apart. The anesthesiologist started pumping me full of pain meds.

And that was the big mistake of the day; it was time to push, and my body shut down.

I pushed for 45 minutes. The doctor and nurses just kept looking more worried. Cale's heartbeat just kept going down and I was quickly running out of energy. My doctor finally said, "I'm going to give you one more push, and then we need to do a c-section."

I laid my head back and yelled, "Jesus, You HAVE to help me push!"

And I felt Him. Right beside me. Like He always is when I need Him, and I felt something stronger than me gripping me and giving me what I needed for that one last push.

And there you were. You weren't crying, and the NICU team got to work immediately. I had never felt more terrified in my life. And then I heard a little squeak. Then a full-on yelp. Then laughter. You were putting on a show for the nurses, I think.

And then you were in my arms.

And all was right with the world.

2 years later, my little punkin, it still is:

Happy 2nd Birthday!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from the little Bear!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Playing Dirty 2009

The Annual Dessert Contest is well-underway. The sabotaging started yesterday with this e-mail from my Mother to all the voters:

Hello most revered friends, I just want to express how delighted I am that I will be sharing Christmas this year with so many wonderful voters, I mean revelers. I just wanted to assure one and all that I will be providing the winning dessert and not to worry re: the losers' feelings....they're used to it. Love, Kelly

It ended today with my poster:

Do you want these two making YOUR Christmas dessert?

I'm scared by my sister's retaliation. She can be as mean as a snake if you post bad pictures.

Monday, December 21, 2009

If I Had A Daughter...

If I had a daughter, I would do things like this to her:

*Mousse her hair and take pictures

*Put on flowery hats and take pictures

*Put on Santa hats and take pictures.

*Uh-oh...I've asked too much.

*Yes, she wants her Mommy now.

And this is probably why God gave me a son. No princess should have to endure this.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Baywatch: Tulsa

Anybody out there ever watch Baywatch?

You know...everyone wore a bathing suit and ran around? David Hasslehoff couldn't keep his shirt on to save his life?

Apparently, my son and the Hoff have the same dilemma:

*Refuses to leave it zipped. Every night.

Don't Hassle the Hoff, my friends...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Toddler Academics

I decided to start doing "toddler school" for the wild ones. This is how it went:

*2 fun pages, colors, full bellies, ample reward stickers and personal space.

*Lola worked diligently for 20 minutes. She traced her "ones," needing little assistance and zero correction.

*Cale wouldn't even look at the offensive fun page.
*He requested a snack then smeared it on his work.

*Then, he quickly escaped from his chair and moved it over to Lola to do this:

*He pulled her hair and screamed to distract her from her studies. She kept telling him, "No, Cale, go work!"

After awhile, he was removed from the classroom for poor behavior. I wanted to write him up, but, alas, I am the teacher, cafeteria lady and principal in this endeavor.

So, I sassed him good and let Lola finish.

Eventually, though, he did get to participate in his favorite activity:

*Put Lola in the wagon and cover her with toys.

One of these children did not get an "A" on the first day of school.

Monday, December 14, 2009

12 Days of Marriage

My friend, Donna Edwards, wrote this and I thought it was great stuff. It was timely in my life as I growled at my husband last night while addressing Christmas cards. Way to spread Christmas cheer to your husband, Sara. Really. Especially after he hung Christmas lights for you.

So, I thought I would share:

12 Days of Marriage

12 DAYS before Christmas!!

What are you giving your spouse? Is it a gift that will be forgotten by next year or something that will make your Christmas and marriage memorable?

Some ideas for a Making Marriage Memorable at Christmas:

1. Write a card or Christmas letter to your spouse telling him/her the attributes you love (not what they do, but who they are) - character qualities, talents, God-given gifts.

2. Plan a special time together before Christmas, just the two of you, without kids or friends or other family friends.

3. Go for a walk in an area with lots of Christmas lights (like downtown OKC), stop for a special coffee or hot chocolate drink.

4. Spend some time with your spouse talking about your favorite Christmas memories together as a couple.

5. Start a tradition on Christmas Eve, by yourself or with your children, and talk about the gift of Jesus Christ, and what He has done for you during this past year. Each person can take time to tell what he or she is thankful.

6. Commit not to say anything negative or critical to your spouse from now until Christmas ( a local marriage ministry had a great idea advocating 30 days without negativity in December, try starting with 10 days!)

7. As your family gathers for Christmas celebrations, find something about which to brag on your mate. Tell all of your family something great about him/her.

8. Give your spouse whatever you want the most from him/her - it might be grace or forgiveness or acceptance or a kind word.

9. Show tender affection to your spouse without expecting anything in return.

10. If your spouse is a Christian, share something that God has shown you that He wants you to do to strengthen your marriage.

11. Give your spouse a "to do list" break, don't ask them "to do" anything for you, but ask what you can do for him/her.

12. Be grateful for whatever your spouse gives your for Christmas, even if it is a tie or appliance that you didn't want or don't like.

Donna Edwards
Giving Life to Marriages

Friday, December 11, 2009

Dear Sara....

I ripped this idea off of Brad Paisley's "Letter to Me." I thought it was a brilliant concept. What would I say to myself at 16 if I could talk to her as a 30-year-old? Sweet Lord, here it goes...

Sara Ann,

Your Dad and Mom are not trying to ruin your life. You'll be glad you have boundaries, and you will eventually forgive them for all of those heart-to-hearts.

I know think you're too cool and too busy for your little sister. Let's be clear, you will never be cool. She's your soul mate- stop kicking her out of your room and stop acting like it's so inconvenient to drive her to school. And let her borrow your clothes.'ll want to borrow hers when you're in your 20's.

That guy in a rock band that you just know is the love of your life still lives with his parents. Move on and stop going to those stupid concerts. Stop spending your money on his band t-shirts, too! And please, for the love of all that is holy, don't ask for his autograph.

You will not die a virgin, and you are not the only one in high school not having sex.

Thank Mrs. Lee for changing your life. She passes away while you're in college, and you'll always feel a void.

Your parents are going to get divorced and it will shatter everyone for awhile. Then, you'll all pick up the pieces, heal and learn a "new normal." And it really is going to be okay.

Most importantly, I know you're kind of a wienie, but TAKE CHANCES! Try out for the play, hang out with new people, wax your eyebrows, study abroad, eat a salad, stand up for yourself and DON'T BASE YOUR DECISIONS ON FEAR!

One more thing, that little boy of yours will change the way you look at love forever.

Senior 96 Still Kicks,

Don't make-out with your boyfriend in the parking lot. A classmate will see you and tell everyone at school.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Extreme Bathroom Makeover

The funnest part of my marriage is my constant need to redecorate and my husband's constant need for things to stay the same.

Imagine the fun night at our house when he came home to this:

And this:

I was sick of our nasty bathroom-that never seemed clean-even though I bleached and cleaned religiously-it just looked gross all the time- so I took a hammer to it.


With a little baby-sitting money, a little help from Amy and Mom and 3 trips to the chiropractor, we now have this:

And now I have my eye on the guest bathroom. Don't tell my husband.

Monday, December 7, 2009


I love taking pictures like these:

Sunsets always remind me of this:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Autumn Weddings

I just love fall weddings. It is the perfect time to get married in Oklahoma. Cooler weather, autumn colors, hot cider served up by hard-working wedding planners and these....

The only thing that could make them more glorious is........

butter cream.....

And my night is complete.....

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Behind the Camera

I've been a camera nerd ever since studying with a professional back in college. Last Christmas, I was finally able to buy a Canon Rebel digital camera; it's changed my life. It's my baby. It goes where I go. I have literally growled at my child when he tries to touch it.

Every once in awhile, I get asked to do family pictures- which I love. It's a win/win situation because I get beauty product money and they get pictures. And, I get to hang with little dudes like this:

He made me want to have another one...and then I remembered the first trimester.

But, oh, look at this little boy and his Momma...

and the beautiful, blue-eyed family...

and this is when I pushed it too far....

*Get me out of the stupid leaves, haven't you done enough to me Crazy Camera Lady!?!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Food Network Challenges

When I was on the couch for an entire summer with a dislocated rib, (I will not mention which fetus made that possible,) I watched a lot of Food Network. At the time, I had 3 meals in my repertoire: Trailer Trash Burritos, spaghetti and hot dogs. As I was about to become a full-time homemaker and mommy, I thought it was time to add to that list.

I was religious about it. I learned seasonings, the proper use of kitchen tools, the proper handling of raw meat, how to baste, how to puree, ect. I called my mother-in-law for lessons and tips. I went to see Memaw with my notebook and had her show me live and in-person how to make a good pot roast.

For the past two years, I was proud of my progress. I could turn out a pretty good dinner night after night, with only a few mishaps that usually involved frying chicken.

Stupid fried chicken.

However, the Food Network didn't prepare me for this:

He is literally screaming and trying to escape my beautiful presentation of homemade lasagna, sliced zucchini and fresh tomatoes.

What would Paula Deen do? I'll have to get back to you on that. I'll tell you what Sara Thompson did:

I bought one of every kind. And I get these results every time:

Stupid Food Network.