Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Mooched Mommy Idea #14

Toddlers and food will inspire even the strongest mother to break into the liquor cabinet.

Getting our little blessings to eat is hard. Getting them to eat healthy is a whole different level of hard. I hear, and say, these things all the time:

"All he'll eat is chicken nuggets."

"All he wants is ranch dressing and cookies."

"He needs CALORIES!"

"He'll eat once I bribe him!"

"Why does he love something one day and hate it the next?"

"It's so discouraging to cook 3 meals a day and all he wants is peanut butter."

When my son is particularly difficult, I like to fantasize about the day when he will be old enough to cook a meal, in which I will spit out said meal and say, "I DON'T WIIIIIIKE IT!!!" And then I will request fruit snacks and jelly beans for dinner.

It helps me cope.

My mommy friend, Carolyn, discovered that her toddler ate better when she could walk and eat. I've been trying it, and it works! There has been less pleading and frustration on our part, and he eats better. We still have our basic dinner rules:

1. No yelling, fits or spitting at the table.
2. No treats if dinner is not eaten.
3. I will only make him a special meal if what I cooked is too spicy or ethnic.

Other than that, I'm open to suggestions. I'll try every one. And, so far, the "walking around and eating plan" seems to be working. I'll care about the importance of eating at the dinner table another day.

Suprisingly, getting him to eat cheesecake is not a challenge....

Sunday, December 5, 2010


Well, howdy! I've been a bad blogger. Very, very bad blogger. Wedding season and campaign season collided at the same time...and I think we're still recovering.

To add to it, we decided to enroll in Dave Ramsey classes, sell our house, move to Oklahoma City, change jobs and, um....move in with my DAD. You know, cause it's cool to move in with your Dad when you're 32. Clearly.

I think it's going to be fun, though. And, since we're married and all, maybe my Dad won't make my husband leave the house by 11. I hope.

Anywhoo, it's just until our house sells or one of us goes crazy.

This is a pictorial representation of my feelings about all of the changes:

You're welcome.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Mooched Mommy Idea #13

I can't explain how much this impacted me, so I'll just have to copy and paste. This Mooched Idea comes from Donald Miller:

Children Don't Learn They Matter From the Bible. They Learn it From You.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Conversations with a Toddler

Scene: Toddler looks forlornely at his plate of spaghetti as if it is Mount Everest and we just told him to climb without oxygen.

Him: All done! (Insert: Big, sweet smile.)

Us: Okay, but no snacks, no cupcake and no jelly beans.

Him: No cupcake? No snacks? No beans?

Us: No. If you don't eat your dinner, there are no treats. And we might eat a cupcake in front of you. (Don't judge us, we hate the "eat your dinner fight" and have learned to have some fun with it.)

Him: I hold a cupcake?

Well played, little stinker. But, no. We're onto your game....

Monday, September 27, 2010


I did a photo shoot a few days ago and I was not happy with the status of my arm jiggle. The photographer sweetly told me, "If you put your hand on your hip, it will pop your tricep out and it will look better."

My hand is on my hip in every picture.

I decided it was time to get myself back into a regular workout routine. My workout routine always seems to falter during wedding season. In addition to that, my husband's schedule hasn't been sane since he entered a political career. So, I'm back to doing yoga once a week and calling it good.

That was, until I saw my arm jiggle.

I marched into my room, got $50 out of my unmentionables drawer and gave it to my husband. "If I don't work out 4 days a week for a month, go spend this."

It worked. I want my $50 back and I don't want him to spend it on something annoying like an Aggies jersey. I got a week reprive due to sickness, but I'm hitting it hard again tomorrow. Me and my personal trainer, of course:

Monday, September 20, 2010

Mooched Mommy Idea #12

This concept comes from the Mother of all wisdom....my very own mother. Ever since I became a Mommy, I have the urge to call her everyday and apologize for taking her for granted, being a drama queen and my phase of thinking I was smarter.

If you have ever spent time with me and my sister, you've probably heard my Mom's discipline stories; she was famous for her creativity. Her philosophy, which is the subject of my mooching today, was "make it harder on them than it is on you." Essentially, make discipline swift and strong; making the consequences harder on the child than on the parent.

Allow me some examples:

-In 6th grade, she made me mad at the busstop. In a show of great indepenence, I slammed the door on her and stomped on the bus. Little did I know she got out of the car, (not at maximum cuteness, I might add), and followed me on the bus. The bus went silent. "You go shut the door correctly young lady." I did as she requested, and never slammed another door on her again. I still have nightmares about the silent bus.

-When my sis was in 5th grade, she kept "forgetting" to do her portion of the dishes. Mom's solution? Amy had to carry clean dishes in a sack all evening...even when she went to the neighbor's house to play. Mom even called the neighbor to ensure that my sis was carrying her dishes. Amy never forgot her dishes again.

-She told us that if we ever cut class in high school, she would escort us to all of our classes the next day. We were smart enough never to test her.

-If we were disrespectful or rudely disobedient, she would wake us up 30 minutes early to write sentences. Mom's sentences were a paragraph each. If we were really bad, she would throw in a loooooong scripture.

-If all else failed, we had to pull weeds. In the hot, Oklahoma heat. During morning cartoons. That fixed our attitude faster than anything.
She became so much cooler once we were adults...

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Scenes from a Marriage III

Setting: Cheesecake Factory

Me: I want to look at the cheesecake menu and decide what I want.

Him: Aren't we sharing?

Me: Why can't I have my own?

Him: You can, but they're really big.

Me: Why won't you buy me a cheesecake? Do I not deserve my own?

Him: Whaaa??

Me: You think I'm fat, don't you?

Him: I'm done talking.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Preschool and My Poor, Broken Heart

My baby started preschool today.

When did this guy become ready for freaking preschool:

I spent the morning carefully packing his school lunch, nap mat, blankie and bag. I spent more time obsessing about how he would handle it. Would he cry for me? Would he adjust well? Would he make friends? Is he ready for this? What if someone tries to sell him drugs? Why am I a freak?

You know, the usual questions.

Like so many mommies before me, I cried when I left him in his class. I went straight to Wal-Mart and bought him a fancy lunch sack with a football on it. Cause apparently that's important and he didn't have one.

I spent my 5 hours alone catching up on housework, working on weddings, obsessively checking my phone and calling my Mom to obsess a little more. Then it hit me, I have no idea what to do with myself.

Perhaps I should work on that.

5 hours later, I was the first Mom there to pick up their kid. I wasn't even embarrassed. With much apprehension, I walked to his room and held out my arms. He ran to me, jumped in my arms and declared, "PWEEschool is fun!"

And then we went for icecream to celebrate that we both survived.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Mooched Mommy Idea #11

This one comes from my parenting guru: Aunt Molly. Seriously, go hang with any of her 4 kids and you will know how awesome she is. I'm currently trying to steal one of them, hire the other, and have to wait for the other 2 to graduate before I have all 4 in Tulsa. (insert: evil laugh)

Anywhoo, one of the things that she told me that stuck was: say "yes" as much as you can, and they will include you in their plans. If you say "no" all of the time, they do it anyway behind your back.

I catch myself saying "NO!" all day. It is becoming an act of will to say "yes" more than I say "no." If I'm being totally honest, I usually tell him "no" because it's more convenient for me. Saying "yes" means that there will probably be a bigger mess, more noise and a big chance for embarrassment.

So, here's to saying and enthusiastic "YES!" to big freaking messes and not wincing when he eventually pulls my couch cushions and mattresses out on the lawn to jump off the roof.

*I need to ask Aunt Molly if she had a secret margarita machine to get through parenthood.

Sunday, September 5, 2010


Why didn't someone tell me that tattoos are really permanent? (Besides my mother, who fell to her knees and wept when she realized that I did, in fact, go with my boyfriend to the tattoo parlor and get inked.)

I still feel really bad about that.

A 20-year-old has no concept of "never coming off." At that age, I knew everything and nothing at all; a dangerous thing. I thought the lily, and later the butterfly, were awesome and indicative of where I was in life. So deep and meaningful, I'm sure.

And now the darn things won't come off.

My wedding day, a formal dinner, a trip to the beach....anytime I show my feet or shoulders, there they are. Mocking me.

I've been too chicken to have them removed, I hear it is more painful than childbirth; I barely made it out of that.

I changed my mind after the precious girls in my Sunday School class all insisted I give them "butterfly tattoos like Miss Sara!" All 6 of them went home from Sunday School that day with a Moses color sheet and a purple butterfly and a stern warning from Miss Sara that only silly girls get real tattoos.

This silly girl knows from personal experience.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Mooched Mommy Idea #10

This mooched mommy idea comes from my good friend, Brad Pitt.

One evening, while we were all hanging out at my house, we started swapping parenting advice. Also, Angelina had an action movie coming up and she wanted some of my personal training tips.

Or, I was reading People magazine. Whatever. Anyway, he said that his best parenting advice is to give his kids a 5 minute warning when it's time to clean-up, switch activities or go somewhere. It struck me as good advice at the time, so I filed it away.

Recently, I've had to pull it out of the file as my little pumpkin poo doesn't like to switch gears as fast as I need him to. It usually looks like this:

Me: Let's go!


Me: Let's go, now!

Him: (Closes his eyes so that he can't see me or throws himself on the floor in a great protest.)

Now, thanks to my friend Brad, I know to give him a 5 minute warning so that he can start winding down. It works. He knows his activity is coming to an end, and he'll be moving on soon.

I need to have Brad and Angelina over more often.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Business Partners and Sisters

The question I get most often about working with my sister is this: "Do ya'll fight?"

The answer: Of course.

Fighting isn't something we do a lot, but it sometimes happens. It doesn't get ugly, we don't hit below the belt and we don't go the ever-popular passive aggressive route. But, yes, we disagree. We hurt each other's feelings. We let each other down. We also periodically need to call and tattle to our mother.

At the end of the day, though, she and I just work. Her strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa. She's assertive, I'm a peace-maker. She's artistic, I'm practical. She makes a wedding into a fairytale, I sell it.

She does this:

I do this:

Because we can't both be lining out a guest and hiding in the kitchen...

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Celebrity Nurseries

Laughing at celebrity moms is my guilty pleasure. New-mommy cluelessness and lots of money have humorous results; especially when they design a nursery.

Allow me to introduce one such celebrity baby nursery:

Let's be clear that this room has never actually housed a real baby yet. When it does, the inevitable will occur:

1. A diaper will leak poo on that lovely, plush rug. It will always look a little yellow.
2. Cutesy knick-nacks will be shoved up a nose or worse, put down their pants for safekeeping.
3. Don't let them actually sit on that chair. Dirty hinies have no respect!
4. Hello sparkling windows, allow me to introduce peanut butter. With a booger or two thrown in.
5. That footstool is perfect for trying to reach the shiny chandelier for a good swing. Or giving it a good try, anyway.

Maybe I'm just bitter that I couldn't afford and all-white designer nursery for this little guy:

Then again, maybe that was for the best.

Sunday, August 22, 2010


Repeat 50 times. Then eat cake.

Pure bliss.

Friday, August 13, 2010

The Great Manipulation

This is so very true:

I am drunk with power. Allow me an example:

Scene: Two Grandmas, (A Grammie and a Granny, to be exact), were in town on a very busy schedule. I happened to have both of their grandbabies. Those grandbabies had worn me out and I needed a break.

I sent this text:

"I guess I'll tell them their Grandma's don't love them."

30 minutes later, this happened:

*They came by to let me know that they cannot, in fact, be manipulated.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Scenes from a Marriage II

Do you ever have a dream that seems so real, you wake up believing it?

Me: Why won't you marry me?

Him: I did marry you. 5 years ago.

Me: I'm not going to just wait around. I have options. I'm not going to be your lifetime girlfriend.

Him: You have a ring and everything.

Me: You think you can just have all the benefits of marriage without the commitment? You've got another think coming, mister.

Him: We have a son together. You have my last name.

Me: Oh yeah. What a weird dream. Will you make me some coffee?

Him: Am I still in trouble?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Momisms II

And so my tradition continues. I never know what's going to come out of my mouth on any given day with a toddler...

"You have your own food. Mine does not taste any better than yours. "

"Don't eat Daddy's Bible."

"Don't touch anyone's privates but your own." (This also handy advice for teenagers/college students.)

"Popsicles are not for breakfast, lunch or dinner."

"Just sitting on the potty and smiling does not earn you a chocolate chip."
*Chocolate chips are my potty-training prize*

"You are not invited to date night."

"Sunday school is not a punishment."

"You do not need to watch your friends poop."

"Get my sunglasses out of the ranch dressing!"

"If you kick me one more time, Grandaddy cannot save you."
*At this point, I give my Dad the stink eye to enforce my threat as he likes to rush in and sing HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! when his grandbaby is being punished.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Breaking the Code

My husband recently decided to go through his cards and letters from the past 20 years. He was a good sport and let me read all of the ones from old girlfriends, girls he was chasing and girls that were chasing him. As I read them, it became incredibly clear to me that my husband was quite popular with the ladies, and the poor guy had no idea. He just couldn't translate the Christian-girl language.

Since I am well-versed in Bible college language, I humbly offer my translations, (some of these came from the cards, and some of it just came from my experiences.)I am mortified to admit that I said many of the following things myself:

I hope we get to know each other better.
Translation: Ask me out, moron.

You are such a blessing to me.
Translation: Please keep doing nice things for me, but don't expect me to go out with you.

I can't imagine my life without you.
Translation: I want a ring by spring. A big one.

If we're still single in our thirties, we should marry each other.
Translation: You're great, but I need to see if someone better comes along first.

I'm your sister in Christ.
Translation: You have no chance of ever seeing me naked.

I just really want to date Jesus right now.
Translation: I don't want to date you. But, if someone hotter comes along, I might stop dating Jesus for him.

I hope this helps you sweet ORU/SAGU/Evangel students out there.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

My Legacy

There is absolutely no denying that I have a fondness for words that I shouldn't. I have managed to offend several people I love, was trying to impress or should have been trying to impress. I have honestly been trying like never before to say "shoot" or "darn" or "bummer" in lieu of the word I actually want to say. First of all, it's just tacky to talk that way. Second, I have a toddler that repeats my words.

So, I've been trying. Please keep that in mind.

Scene: Playing cards with my Mommy friends.

Her: My daughter said something the other day, I think she got it from you.

Me: Oh, really?

I ran through all of my most-used saying:

-Super Duper!
-I want both of you to be sweet to each other!
-Tattling hurts my ears.
- You can get glad in the same shoes you got mad.
-Cool Beans!
-Run like the wind!

* I was hoping it was something cute and sweet......

Her: Yeah, she was frustrated about something and said, "Oh, CRAP!"

Oh, cr.........bummer.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

For the Love of Boobies

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, allow me to share my favorite breastfeeding story:

Me and the little guy took our first plane ride together when he was 9 months old. I wanted to visit my bestie in Florida and I thought I could manage it since nursing always made him very zen and he looooved his milk. My plan was to latch him on, hooter hider in place, and let him nurse the entire plane ride. I thought that would make life pleasant for everyone.

I was mortified when a very large, very cowboyish/manly man plopped in the seat next to me. I was freaking out that he might see something. The truth is, I will never be that woman that can whip out a boob and feed my baby. I had all of the special items required to keep myself and my business well hidden. I decided to warn my fellow traveler.

"I'm going to nurse my baby the entire plane ride. I hope that you are comfortable with that," I said simply.

He grinned, gave me a pat on the back and replied, "Well, young lady, I've been married and I've seen all that. It all looks the same so don't you worry about me."

Well, then. Good to know.

*The only picture I have of myself nursing. I nursed for 1 freaking year and this is all I have to show for it. Best part is that my Dad took this picture after ensuring everything was "covered up." lol

My mommy friend, Sarah, was a huge inspiration and support to me while I nursed. Here are some of her breastfeeding blogs.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Mooched Mommy Idea #9

My son has learned the word, "popsicle." He requests them for breakfast, lunch, dinner and at snack time. Recently, when his baby cousin tried to mooch a lick, he put it on his head to get it out of her reach. Dude means business about his daily treat.

I hate giving him all of that sugar and corn syrup, and have mooched these ideas from fellow mommies:

1. Applesauce popsicles. Just freeze no-sugar applesauce in popsicle molds. Voila!
2. Fruit Chillers. You can find them in the canned fruit section of the grocery store. They are mainly fruit juices with a little sugar added.
3. Frozen grapes, blueberries or bananas. All of these fruits freeze really well, and are quite tasty.

I am currently also looking for healthy alternatives to ice cream, cake and cookies. Not having much luck yet.....

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Summer School

Summer has been a busy time for my busy boy. He's had his very own summer school. In fact, it has inspired him to request a toolbox. I pretend I don't understand him.

His summer training:

Auto Mechanics

*Fixing my Jeep with Grandaddy. I was just hoping he wouldn't puncture anything important.

Home Interior

*Painting the trim with Daddy. I'm not sure who was wearing more paint after this project.

Home Ec

*Making nummies with GG. She would put in the ingredients, and he would take out the chocolate chips for a quality check.


*Giving his cousin a nice pedicure. Oh wait, this doesn't look right. The Manliness Police will be after me for sure this time. Crap.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Guest Blogger

I don't normally host guest bloggers, but my 2-year-old son insisted that he share his thoughts about his Daddy.

So, a BIG welcome to Cale and his post:

Why My Daddy is the Greatest!

by Cale

When I pee in the potty, you act like it's the most exciting news you've ever heard in your life.

When you grill, I get to wear an apron and hold the tongs. I feel very manly.

You put your aftershave on my cheeks and we both make Mommy smell us.

You swim with me in my kiddie pool, even though I probably peed in it.

You teach me to say, "thank you, Mommy, for cooking for us" at every meal. That's going to make me a fantastic husband someday...if Mommy ever lets me date.

You take me on adventures at the park, museum, zoo, Chick-Fil-A, the pool, Incredible Pizza, the ranch and the backyard.

You sneak yummy treats to me when Mommy is not looking.

You wrestle with me and never get upset that I always win. My muscles are very big, you know. And, you don't freak out too much when our wrestling gets out of hand and I accidentally kick you in the.....area.....

You clean me, the sheets, the bed and the carpet when I throw-up. And you have no help because Mommy is gagging in the other room.

You read to me everyday, and even do the special voices.

When you come home after a long day, you play with me all evening and fill my little tank with Daddy love.

You're the greatest. I WUV you!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

In a Snit

I'm not judging, I used to be this girl. But, I get it now. Oh, how I get it.....

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

An Open Letter to Grooms

I gotta get this out. I meet with brides and grooms almost every weekend to talk about their wedding plans; and I see too much of the Completely-Bummed-Out-Groom. I totally understand that planning a wedding is more for the girls...but we need to talk.....

Dear Groomies,

You can summon a decent amount of enthusiasm to display for your bride as she talks about her wedding day. Slumping in your chair and staring at the ground is better left for the pouting toddlers when they don't get their way. Also, it is never advisable to blurt out, "I don't even want to do this." If you don't want to get married, grow a pair and break up with her; don't propose.

By supporting your bride through this process, you are showing that you will make a wonderful husband. Marriage involves being excited about your spouse's interests. And, here's an inside tip: she'll remember this on the honeymoon, dude.

Here are some appropriate responses to help you through this process:

1. Honey, I just want to marry you. Whatever you plan is great!
2. You're so beautiful I won't notice anything else.
3. All I care about is that, at the end of the day, you'll be my wife. (Had a groom say this once; I melted.)

Here are some inappropriate discussion topics:

1. The flask you want to have in your tuxedo jacket.
2. Your longing to fly to Vegas and "get it over with."
3. The only thing you're excited about being the bachelor party.

You're welcome. Now man up, put on a happy face and let's talk centerpieces.

Your Wedding Planner

Monday, July 12, 2010

Mooched Mommy Idea #8: The Tattle Problem

Tattling has entered my life. Crap.

I spent two years as a fifth grade teacher dealing with the plight of the tattlers. With 30 plus students, someone was offended and done wrong at all times. It was exhausting. And I thought it was over once I took on full-time mommying.

Shows what I know.

The toddlers, (one is mine, one I have kept part-time since she was 2 months old), have taken to informing me of all things offensive:

"He bumped my head."

"She took my guitar!"

"He's looking at me poop!"

"She ate my macaroni!"

Obviously, I take physical and verbal harm seriously and those are swiftly disciplined. But, for the ridiculous tattles; I've tried reasoning, sassing and ignoring. I recently mooched this idea from a parenting magazine, and it has worked wonders and changed my life:

Simply say, "thank you for letting me know."

They feel heard, I don't have to play judge and jury, and they can go about their business with a short rebound time.

Until someone invades their private pooping time...and it starts all over again.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Me vs. The Short Shorts (I didn't win...)

When I was 18, I baby-sat 3 very energetic little girls. One of them, now 19, came to visit for a couple of weeks. It was heaven. I love her energy, her heart, the way my son fell in love with her instantly, the way my kitchen would magically be clean when I would come home...and that's just the beginning.

But things turned nasty when I put her laundry on the bed and I decided to try these on:

I was oh so painfully reminded that:

A. I am not 19
B. I do not have her tan legs
C. I have had a baby
D. I only work out once a month

I made her leave immediately. Sigh. Not really, I just decided to accept that my season for short cut-offs is officially over, and I should stick to my spray tan and knee shorts. And then I made her change a poopy diaper.

Because if I have to deal with reality, she has to join me.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Unexpected

As a wedding planner, I've learned to expect the unexpected at any wedding:

Red wine on the bridal gown?
No problem, I'll grab some club soda and we'll get it right out!

Mother-of-the-Bride hates the Mother-of-the-Groom?
No problem, let's all have some complimentary champagne.

The groom is missing and might be at the bar next door?
No problem, unruly grooms can be motivated by an angry Mother-of-the-Bride. Every time.

Bride calls off the wedding and runs away?
Okay, even I can't fix that one.

I try never to look shocked, and I try to keep a pleasant smile on my face so that no one gets panicky.

I did a bad job this time:

The Grandmother of the bride took a nasty fall in front of the chapel. She walked in with a busted nose, a busted lip and a bloody knee. I can't remember exactly what I did, but it was about as helpful as running around in circles screaming, "somebody call 911!" And, I might have had a mild panic attack, (blood freaks me out, I still don't know how I gave birth).

And this is why my business partner/sister rocks. She calmly took Grandma to the bathroom, and began patching her up, icing her down and fixing her make-up to hide the scratches. She accomplished all of this before the ceremony began.

I accomplished procuring a first-aid kit and getting control of my stomach. And then serving myself and Grandma some complimentary champagne.

Cause it's important to contribute...

Monday, July 5, 2010

Mooched Mommy Idea #7: The Box Fan

And this Mooched Mommy Idea comes from Uncle Chuck:

Chuck loves 5 things in life:
1. The hot blond he's married to
2. His 2 little girls
3. A little honesty
4. Cigars
5. The box fan

His personal belief is that the box fan is the cure to all problems in life. Disruptive neighbors? Blast the box fan. Screaming baby? Blast the box fan. Having a knock-down-drag-out with your spouse??...you get the idea.

It's the cure for all of life's inconveniences.

I've found it to be helpful in:

1. Putting cranky babies to sleep. The powerful whir takes them right to dreamland.
2. Blitzing out a tantrum.
3. Cooling me off when I need a time-out from mommying.
4. Drowning out the documentary my husband is blasting.

Thank you, Guru Chuck for your wisdom.

Friday, July 2, 2010

This is What a Real Momma Looks Like, Okay?!

You know what, People magazine?

Back off of Britney.

She is a Mom. This is what we look like. We don't want to glam up when we run to Starbucks. Our thighs are a little heavier than, say, when we were 16. We don't usually match. We have bad hair-days. We don't rush out the door "all put together." In fact, I went to UPS this afternoon sans make-up with queso on my shorts. It's how we roll.

She's just keepin' it real.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

A Little Sister is on the Way

  • She's got a little sister coming!
  • She's currently excited about it!
  • That might change when she figures out little sister is here to stay...

I'm not gonna tell this little darling that little sisters can:

1. Tell Mom on you.
2. Hide rotten eggs under your bed.
3. Put a wet wash cloth in your sheets.
4. Handcuff you to the sink.
5. Spy on you and your boyfriend having a fight.

Nope, I'm gonna keep that to myself. Cause, truly, there's nothing better in life than a sister.

*I'm going to save these pictures for when she thinks I'm lying...

Monday, June 28, 2010

Staying At Home

My Canadian mommy friend wrote this about being a working mother. She likes to stir it up, that one. It made me think about my beliefs about "stay-at-home-mothering." Let's see, I think I lasted 6 months "at home" before I started climbing the walls and began my own business.

Frankly, everyone seems to have a strong opinion about stay-at-home vs. working mothers. I've been called a "breeder" by a little snot that thought her work-out routine was more important than children. I've been questioned by truly curious women that wonder if life will be over once motherhood enters their life, (totally fair.) I've also been told by a few that "a woman's place is in the home." Well, hallelujah...

I'm confused.

My philosophy: I don't want to miss my "momma season" with my son. But, I know I'll enjoy it more and do it better if my life is balanced. My big, deep philosophy: Balance. I don't think my world should ever revolve solely around kids. Nor do I believe it should revolve solely around career, money, church, fun, my husband, my family or myself.

How about a balance of all of them?

And....can't we all just get along?!?!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

A Princess Story

I would never tell a bright-eyed princess this; but it's totally true. And I laughed till I cried:

*via Sarah @ http://www.emergingmummy.com/

Thursday, June 24, 2010


My Dad never had sons. He swears that he loved having two girls, but I feel a little bad that my Dad had 18 years of princesses, Barbies, ballet, pink, make-up, PMS and overall girl drama.

I feel that I've atoned for my girliness by giving him a grandbaby that is ALL boy. In fact, the first thing Dad bought him, at the tender age of 3 months, was a Spiderman fishing pole. Fishing hadn't really worked out with me and my sister, but he was optimistic it would workout with his grandson.

That pole has been put in his closet for 2 1/2 years, and we finally broke it out for a lake trip. I was told I was to be there for diaper changing and photo taking, but to make myself scarce.

There was man time to be had...

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Mooched Mommy Idea #6: The 4 o'clock Clean-Up

I take great offense to untidiness and dirt in my home. And, ever since he came along:

I've obviously had to get over that.

My fabulous Aunt Kathy gave me her top-secret trick: The 4 o'clock Clean-up.

After listening to me obsess about how I cleaned the house ALL DAY LONG, she told me that she only cleaned once a day when her kiddos were little. She said, "you want to live in your house, that's what it's for."

Her plan: At 4 o'clock, everyone cleans up the entire house together. That way, you can have a tidy home at the end of your day, and the kiddos can play all day unfettered. That philosophy has freed me to enjoy the chaos, laugh with my busy boy and clean like a crazy woman only once per day.

Aunt Kathy, my son and my sanity thank you...

Saturday, June 19, 2010

A Good Kick in the Butt

Jesus said whatever you do to the least of these my brothers you’ve done it to me. And this is what I’ve come to think. That if I want to identify fully with Jesus Christ, who I claim to be my savior and Lord, the best way that I can do that is to identify with the poor. This I know will go against the teachings of all the popular evangelical preachers. But they’re just wrong. They’re not bad, they’re just wrong. Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in a beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken....

-Rich Mullins

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Laundry Day

No matter how many piles of laundry I have...

No matter how many clothes I have to fold...

I will not complain.

Meet my lovely friend Alisha, and her washing machine at her new home in Africa:

The fact that she is able to smile about this situation can only be because:

1. The newlywed glow has overpowered all appliance inconveniences.
2. The sun in Kenya has gone to her head.
3. She is a better wife/Christian/homemaker than me.

It might be all of the above; with heavy emphasis on #3. Until then, I will continue to miss my African domestic goddess. And I will hug my washing machine.

Love me some perspective.

Monday, June 14, 2010

The Pregnancy Thigh Master

I took this picture last summer to inspire me to tone my legs. Meet my friend, Kristen, and her perfect legs:

Kristen and her legs just launched a DVD series for pregnant women. It's called PregoFit, and it's fabulous.

If I had this DVD series when I was preggers, then perhaps I would have been much less mushy at the end of my 9-month-plight. I might have felt better and had all of my ribs stay in place. Perhaps I would have hidden less Twinkies in my underwear drawer.

One never knows.

I do know that Kristen is the real deal. Certified trainer, healthy, fabulous and walks the walk. I could not be more thrilled to recommend this series!

As soon as I have the nerve to get knocked up again, I will have my credit card ready.

I might be jealous if she wasn't so darn sweet!

Friday, June 11, 2010

The Manliness Police

I am the mother of a boy. He likes to be outside, he loves being dirty and he has no tolerance for quiet activities. I must admit, some days I have no idea what to do with him, but I don't fret. I know that if I get out of line, I have the ever-faithful Manliness Police to keep me accountable as I raise my son.

Allow me to introduce:

Officer You-Give-Him-Too-Many-Baths:

*Bought his first cowboy hat, boots, John Deere tractor and shotgun.

Officer He-Can-Drive-If-He-Wants-To:

*Bought his first fishing pole, 4-wheeler and life-sized tiger.

Officer Don't-Let-My-Nephew-Attend-Princess-Parties-Ever-Again

*Bought his first baseball, bat and Transformers t-shirt

Officer They-Are-Not-Panties-They-Are-UNDIES

*Bought his first superhero t-shirt, toy cars and remote control.

This group of ever-vigilant watchdogs works tirelessly to keep me in the know of all things manly. If I mess up, they are faithful with a lecture, text or phone call. When my son pees outside, shows his muscles or smells like a puppy, I know they are happy with my mothering. When my son wanted to wear a sequined barrette to Target, there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

My bad.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


A few fellow bloggers to inspire deep thoughts or laughter:

My Aussie friend, Rebecca, wrote this beautiful post about stopping the mommy madness to enjoy a moment. I've though about this all week.

K.C. Clifford, an amazing musician and woman, wrote this post about nurture and being authentic.

This is the greatest birth story I've ever read. I cry every single time I read it. Simply beautiful.

makes me holler. She shares my secret addiction; don't judge us.

This is my friend, Stacy. She is the Texas-version of Martha Stewart. She is also beautiful and thin. Sigh.

And this is why I will not get a puppy
. I don't care how much my son loves them.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Girl Activities

I want a little girl.

If that doesn't happen, I will continue to borrow my girlfriend's little princesses. They don't seem to mind, apparently little girls come with slightly more drama.

I did not, in any way, prompt these next pictures. It just comes naturally to my gender.

It's how we roll...