Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Breathe and Cry

Ever seen the "Friends" episode where Joey moves out to "be alone with his thoughts?" (After he moves, he realizes that he doesn't have that many thoughts...)

I've been alone with my thoughts for a couple of months.

Back in June, I witnessed an accident that killed 10 people in a horribly gruesome way. We were right behind it on the turnpike. I saw way too much and I completely shut down afterward.

I grieved like I knew them personally. I started having panic attacks when I saw emergency vehicles. I wouldn't leave my baby with anyone; I didn't want him out of my sight. My husband had to drive anytime we drove on the turnpike. I flipped out for weeks, mostly in private because I think there are times in life where the depth of your pain can only be reached and understood by your Savior. The most comforting advice I received at this time was, "breathe and cry."

So I've been breathing and crying, and that's about it. I stopped blogging to be alone with my thoughts and try to pull myself together. Honestly, I didn't think I had anything to say until I could process it all. Weird, but true.

Then, last night, my baby's butt turned blue. Apparently, I gave him too many blueberries. My sweet baby's hiney is stained blue and I can't figure out how to get it back to a nice pink color.

Yes, it's time to blog again.

4 comments:

TClayton said...

Wow girl! I didn't know you were still processing through that accident. You have been through a LOT this summer.

Chells said...

Oh Tissy......my heart is locked in you.

Minters - The Other Side of the Story said...

Oh girl...definitely value in the statement of "just breathe" over and over and over again....

Sarah said...

I've missed your blog terribly. It's how we have gotten to know each other! I can imagine that what you experienced would be vile, awful and nightmarish. My prayers are with you as you are cleansed from the memories of what you saw. And I hope you can start coming back often. I've missed my friend!