Monday, March 9, 2009

First Vacation Post-Baby

I've read that husbands and wives who neglect their marriage for parenthood don't fare well when the kiddos leave the nest. It's been likened to "waking up next to a stranger" once the kids are all off to college.

When my husband and I became parents, I was determined to be a wife as much as I was a mother, and found that a difficult thing to balance. The needs of a baby are so intense that having date nights and making time for baby-free conversation are insanely difficult.

All that said, in the spirit of investing into our marriage and making time for ourselves, we set off for a cabin in New Mexico and left our one-year-old with the happiest Granny in Grannyland. (She kept trying to get us to leave early and claimed that we were "bothering them.")

I was having the time of my life in the mountains of New Mexico and enjoying things that I have not enjoyed since our son arrived:

*Sleeping in and not making the bed
*Drinking coffee all day long
*Hanging with fabulous friends and chillaxing all day in our PJ's. (Some of us did not change out of our PJ's. Ahem. Robert.)
*Watching movies as loud as I wanted
*Midnight Margaritas with my husband
*Not having to be quiet. Ever.
*Not having to worry about a curious 14-month-old eating rocks, dirt, pain pills, ect.

However, as fun as is was, no one ever told me that separation anxiety can be as intense for the mommy as it is for the baby. As much as I was enjoying those things, I felt like I left my heart when we left OKC. I know this is incredibly unhealthy and "psycho-mommy," but I don't ever want to leave him again! In fact, now that we're back home, he seems kind of mad at me about the whole thing.

Wife and Mommy are definitely hard to balance.


Brian and Julie Woolery said...

Wow, I'm so proud of you, Sara! We haven't left Justin overnight yet, but I also have gone through a little separation anxiety on the very few date nights we've had in the last year. :) Hopefully, we'll all get better at this. ;)

Tracey said...

Kudos to you for investing in your marriage! But I totally understand your "separation from the baby" feelings. I can remember that leaving those babies for even just a couple of days R&R actually SOUNDED better than it really WAS. The rare times that I did I missed them more than I could imagine or describe. I guess that's built into us as part of the maternal thing. I don't at all regret NOT leaving them more.

Casey said...

I know exactly how you feel about leaving them. As much as you enjoy the relaxation it feels like there's a whole in your heart the whole achy feeling. I HATE it. I left Charli (my first) more than I leave Chloe (the baby) now. I learned how hard it was with Charli and refuse to do it as much with Chloe. We do leave them some. Then when I get back and have missed them so much and they start the crying, whining, and all that....I wonder....WHY do I miss them SO much when I relaxing on vacation!!????

Jamie said...

I do understand. On the airplane ride back from cancun I was crying so hard from missing my kids, the little girl in front of us asked her daddy what was wrong with the lady behind them.