Dream Home and Discontent

One year ago my husband had 2 days to move to a different city and start a new job.  Since that threw us into a tailspin of decisions, we opted to rent a small house in the city until we are settled here and know where we want to live.  So, here I am, a stay-at-home-Mom in a very tiny house....day after day...4 people sharing a bathroom the size of a postage stamp.  Don't even get me started on my closet for I might weep.  Eventually, we will buy a home with some land and we won't be crashing into each other all day.

Eventually.

I caught myself grumbling about it and immediately felt terrible. This isn't the first time I've been here. I know what it's like to spend years wishing for something bigger and better.  My family spent 18 years saving and planning for the "dream home"  while living in a small house that we outgrew.  I look back on my childhood, and we were always looking and praying for the perfect dream home and growing increasingly unsatisfied where we were.  I wish it wasn't like that.  I loved my childhood in our little house in the country with the occasional coon that ran amuck in the closet.  (Really, it did.  And it bit my Dad.  And I think Mom threatened to sue someone, but I'm not sure who was responsible for the rouge critter.)

I made a deal with myself that I wouldn't waste this time in our home grumbling and pouting.  Nope, I'm going to organize, rearrange, down-size and enjoy it, even when my kitchen-the-size-of-a-closet starts to get me down. 

We're making memories here- important memories.  I was 31 months pregnant in this house.  We brought our baby girl home in this house.  We learned to be a family of four in this house.   All of our family have come to visit and love on our babies. I learned how to take apart a dishwasher in this house.

Who knows, I might get my big, fancy house and miss how crowded it is here.  I might miss only having to clean one bathroom.  I might miss how our 3 bedrooms are crammed right next to each other and somehow my children are both in bed with us in the morning.  Heck, I might even miss how one person is always doing the bathroom dance while yelling at the door, "ARE YOU DONE IN THERE YET?!"

I'll wage a war on my discontent, because we're a family and that's enough.  I won't miss this time with them wishing I was somewhere bigger and better.  They are my bigger and better.