Sunday, May 31, 2009

All I Want is a Freaking Tan

I am interrupting my Switzerland adventures for this important announcement:

My legs look like glow sticks.

I am of Irish descent, and that means that I have been pasty white my entire life. You might be thinking, "wow, Sara, have you tried sunless tanning or tanning beds?"

Please, people, I have tried everything on the market to get that sun-kissed glow.

When I tried Coppertone's new sunless tanning spray last week, the orange results prompted my friend to tell me about the new revelation called "airbrushing." For $30, I get to stand with my post-baby body in front of a 19-year-old with perky boobs and a machine that kind of looks like the bug sprayer my lawn guy uses. I didn't care as long as I looked golden for approximately 10 days. worked. It was glorious. I have been wearing every short dress and pair of shorts I own before the clock strikes midnight and the glow sticks return.

I fear that day arrived today. I look like a polka-dotted mess. My "tan" is literally flaking off, and not very evenly, I might add. I don't care. For one, blessed week, I joined the ranks of the Coppertone models.


Without the, um, skinny and flawless body.


TClayton said...

ROFLOL! we know the results. HA! ...all good things must come to an end...unless you insert more coins in the slot. :-)

Casey said...

Oh Sara! I so feel your pain. In fact, I have posted on my blog asking people for suggestions. I am also pasty white. Nothing works for me as well. Nothing...not tanning beds, no amount of laying out (who has the time), no sunless tanners, no spray on. And to make it worse, just visited the dermatologist and he told me to never, ever go in the sun again. Great. Always going to be pasty white.