This is a sampling of how my day has gone:
"No, son, we DO NOT play in the toilet, there's millions of germs and we certainly DO NOT splash the water on Mommy."
"No, son, we do not push Lola down when she has a toy you want. Is that a good choice?"
"Are you supposed to pull all of the tissues out of the box? No, sir!"
"You do not get in your wipey box and eat the baby wipes! Stop biting Mommy, these things could give you the trots!"
"You are going to the island of safety, (the pack-n-play), until Mommy calms down."
And, after all of that, the little stinker said "Momma" for the first time.
I'm a big puddle of lovey goo now.
I think I'm also in big, big trouble.