Saturday, August 7, 2010

Breaking the Code

My husband recently decided to go through his cards and letters from the past 20 years. He was a good sport and let me read all of the ones from old girlfriends, girls he was chasing and girls that were chasing him. As I read them, it became incredibly clear to me that my husband was quite popular with the ladies, and the poor guy had no idea. He just couldn't translate the Christian-girl language.

Since I am well-versed in Bible college language, I humbly offer my translations, (some of these came from the cards, and some of it just came from my experiences.)I am mortified to admit that I said many of the following things myself:

I hope we get to know each other better.
Translation: Ask me out, moron.

You are such a blessing to me.
Translation: Please keep doing nice things for me, but don't expect me to go out with you.

I can't imagine my life without you.
Translation: I want a ring by spring. A big one.

If we're still single in our thirties, we should marry each other.
Translation: You're great, but I need to see if someone better comes along first.

I'm your sister in Christ.
Translation: You have no chance of ever seeing me naked.

I just really want to date Jesus right now.
Translation: I don't want to date you. But, if someone hotter comes along, I might stop dating Jesus for him.

I hope this helps you sweet ORU/SAGU/Evangel students out there.


Erin Conrad said...

Oh wow! As a JBU alum I totally get all of these. The dating Jesus one just kills me though! Seriously?!

rhilborn said...

I love, love, love that he didn't know. Oh the Christian girl lingo:).

Sally said...

SARA!!!!!! How i wish i had known you had a blog!!!! oh i cold have been lmao for awhile and quoting your brilliance!! love you!!